This great song.

Two people at an open mic night happen to meet at a bar.

“I’ve got this really great song I’m going to play tonight. It’s amazing,I’m sure you’ll love it” he says.

“Why’s that?” is replied.

The Musician then goes on to explain:

“Well, the song starts off with a long duration of almost pure silence as the complete terms and conditions for a corporate sweepstakes are defined in whisper. It then progresses to an an ensemble of hand slapping against various parts of the human body as a drum solo with guest participation strongly encouraged. Following this, the main part of the song is played. This consists of a single chord strummed at random intervals for an hour while a remarkable collection of profanities are yelled in regards to the word goat. The whole song is played entirely out of tune, key and timing, with absolutely no reservations for diction or grammatical correctness.  All of this is then, to set the mood, is finished with the impersonation of the moaning of a beached whale.”

“Wow! that does amazing”, The man proclaims. “Who wrote it?”

“That’s the best part, It’s an original!”

10 commandments of web dev.

Here ye, Here ye. I haveth the 10 commandments of web development which should under no circumstances be broken.

  1. Thall shall not inline css
  2. Thall shall not inline javascript.
  3. Thall shall place all css and javascript in their own respective files.
  4. Thall shall only reference these css and javascript files only in the <head> tag
  5. Thall shall not use tables where css divs could be used instead.
  6.  Thall shall not make use of negative margins.
  7. Thall shall not make use of deprecated html attributes such as bgcolor or alink
  8. Thall shall not make use of global variables other than to store the namespace for your codebase
  9. Thall shall not construct html in javascript using string manipulation.
  10. Thall shall not encode data in anything other than xml.

Dear Google,

It has come to my attention that all of these rules have been broken. I strongly recommend you refactor all of your code to comply with these rules for a successful execution of your code and business goals .

All change is for the worst.

Where this phrase is from I don’t know. It reminds me of something that happened today.

I was asked to taste test a cola brand in comparison to another brand. The deal was if i simply tried them and gave them my opinion on which i thought was better I got a free can of their new cola drink.  Pretty sweet deal.

I tasted the first one and then tasted the second one. I was then asked which one I thought was better. Before I could think of an answer I was taken a aback by the differences in taste. Clearly the second one tasted less familiar than the first.  It’s familiarity gave me a positive response. The second one was unfamiliar and just for that reason I did not like it. I then pondered this situation some more. Maybe the second drink “was” better and it’s great taste was simply being subdued by my lack of confidence in new things.  I savored the taste that remained in my mouth once again. Yes, that’s it, I thought, this has a positively more delightful taste than the drink I’m used to. By then, the tester was giving me an impatient look so I decided to give him my verdict.

As I was about to say it, I reflected on how fortunate it was that I would not have to let the market researcher down on his organisations hopes for an improved future drink, especially since  it was planned that I would be a direct benefactor of this research investment.  Further fortunate still that I had equipped myself to fully enjoy the drink I was destined to be rewarded in due time. I gave my response took my new free drink and was on my way.

On the way home I started to feel sick in my stomach. What a crap tasting drink I thought. Oh, the irony. It reminded me of other experimental drinks that had been tried before. None of which I had liked. Vanilla coke was good but I was thinking about cherry coke, coke zero and the legend of New Coke which was before my time. Although the sensation of the drink on my tongue was arguably superior, it really didn’t matter so much. I remember the first time I drank coca cola and how it tasted like motor oil. I don’t know how well I could have anticipated how poorly the drink went down but what I do know is this. The word taste has a spectrum of meaning from the short term sensation something gives you to the long term satisfaction you think something will have. In future, I will try to assign a more balanced approach to the word taste it deserves.